


Who Even Has Long-Lost Siblings Anymore?

by Saesama



Series: 28xFirst Kiss Combo [9]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - Derse/Prospit Royalty, Casual Sex, F/M, Incest, Roxy no
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-10
Updated: 2014-08-10
Packaged: 2018-02-12 15:40:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,315
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2115486
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Saesama/pseuds/Saesama
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Your brother has gone rogue, your best friend is insane, and you just want to make it through another night of being paraded before the Derse nobility and maybe get laid.</p>
<p>But no. You had to meet <i>her</i>.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Who Even Has Long-Lost Siblings Anymore?

You hate this so much you want to scream.

Well, screaming is step one. Step two involves a lot more blood and a lot more pain. Step three is you busting Rose out of her tower of crazy and running off to join Dirk in the Wayward Revolution where you damn well should be right the fuck now and you can fix Rose together and take down the monarchy and live happily ever after.

Except that's all a childish dream. Really, you're going to stand here, the last loyal Hero of Derse, and smile and schmooze with noble daughters and ruin someone's dowry but never pick one to actually wed because fuck that. The Queen wants you to make babies, hopefully little Hero babies that she can raise into her loyal minions. Because that totally worked with you and Dirk and Rose.

You've got a Curse of the Empty Purse on you for the next few years (thanks, Rose) and every noble family in the nation flings their nubile daughters at you, hoping to trap you in a marriage by baby and not a single one turns out.

The flock of maidens is pretty thick tonight; plenty of new faces, plenty of desperate past flings. You stand to the left of the dual throne and give them your best 'impress me' deadpan and try to ignore the way your gut curls in hate when you hear the Queen's voice. You've gotten better at it, over the years.

"You look happy to be alive."

Not good enough, apparently. You turn and raise a brow (fuck, fuck, how the hell did she get inside your guard, how did she get so close without you noticing, how?!) at the pretty blond leaning on the dais rail to your left. Her accent is Carapacian (what the shit) and she winks at your bland look. "Enjoying the party, good Sir Knight-Time?"

She says it like a joke, like a private joke, (like Rose used to when you wee kids and she was brought to the castle, who is she?) and you give her the slightest of nods. "Oh course," you say. "It's an honor to stand before the people of Derse and flaunt my slammin' good looks."

She laughs, and it's not the polite tinkling of noble girls and their pale, humorless giggles, it's real, honest to god laughter, a little mean, a little dry, (and she caught your sarcasm, you know she did, the Dignitary doesn't even catch your sarcasm anymore) and you're going to find out everything you can about her if it kills you (and it just might, she's got her hooks in you deep already, abort fucking mission, this is already dangerous)

You lean your elbows on the rail; fuck the King, he can yell at you for turning your back on the royalty later; and get a little more personal with this girl (and her Carapacian accent, what the fuck, that shit is half of a death sentence right off the bat) "So to whom do I have the pleasure of speaking?" you drawl. "Ain't fair if you know who I am and I'm just left to wonder and pine and write tragic notes to the gal in the grey dress for the rest of my life."

She gives you a look and yep, you're interested in her everything and getting her into bed is priority one. "Pretty sure we'll be corresponding quite a lot, Dave," she says. "I am Lady Roxaline, of House Lalonde, and I hear you've got a Rose with a thorn problem."

Never mind. Whatever is under her skirts just became your second priority.

She winks and sashays off, charcoal dress swaying with her hips. You stare for a good minute. Lalonde. Rose is a bastard of House Lalonde. You don't quite recall her ever mentioning a Roxaline in the House, but she obviously knows Rose. And she knows Rose has gone screaming around the dark side of the moon and straight on to the happy home of the Horrorterrors.

"Who was that?"

You look up. The Hegemonic Brute is at your side, frowning after Lady Lalonde. "I don't recognize her," he says. "What's her name?"

Curiouser and curiouser. The Brute's mildly terrifying obsession with the comings and goings and drama of the Derse nobility is infamous, and for him to not know one of the debutantes at a royal gathering is interesting. "Roxaline of Lalonde," you say, rolling your shoulders as you straighten. "Heard of her?"

His frown deepens into confusion. "Yes. I think. Can't quite remember if she's done anything useful. Scholar House, and she's obviously invited if she's brave enough to talk to you, but."

But he can't think of anything she's done. And she wouldn't have an invite if she wasn't either useful or her parents were rich enough to buy her way in and the way Rose talked about the matriarch of House Lalonde, she wasn't into playing those games so. So.

You vaulted the railing with one hand, landing lightly and giving the Brute a smirk over your shoulder. "I'll see if I can find out, yeah?" you say, and he scowls because he thinks you're just out to ruin another potential marriage.

You weave through the crowd, barely polite when you evade people. You've already lost sight of her, fuck, she's half a head taller than almost everyone else here and you can't see her anywhere, how in the fuck did she get so far away, where-

She fucking appears out of a knot of people and you're sure she wasn't there before. She's grinning wickedly. "Looking for something, Lord Nighty-Knight?"

You take her hand and dip your head to kiss her knuckles. "Only a dance partner who can keep up," you say, not even trying to hide your challenge. She blushes a little (ha, flustered her, point to you) but follows you out to the ballroom floor.

"So," you say, when you've got your hand on her waist (she's strong, way strong for a noblewoman, hmmmmmm) "I've got a Rose with some stubborn growths and weird black bits and nasty goo everywhere and they don't teach gardening in the Derse School of Moon-Royalty so you got anything that might help me out?"

She hums and her eyes look sad (and pink, and she looks more like Rose the more you look at her) "That's the problem with roses, you know? Darkness sharpens their thorns and Light burns them right up and you totally got a parasite problem. Gotta cut off all of the above."

You raise your arm you guide her into a spin. "What, perpetual twilight in a locked box, a little ball of mage flame to keep company?"

She comes out of the spin with a savage grin on her face. "Sort of. You need a Void to drop her in."

Void. She's a motherfucking Void Hero. That's why you couldn't hear her approach. That's why the Brute doesn't know anything on her. That's why the Queen never found her (and she had to exist, Prospit has four Heroes and the numbers always match, but you thought she was dead or something)

You lean in close, close enough to catch the notes of her scent. You kind of want to bite her, but you're not sure if it's desire or exasperation. "Can you help her?" you ask.

You can see the flex in her cheek and neck when she smiles. "If you're willing to help me," she answers.

It's enough. You'd hand this crazy, magnificent bitch your heart in a basket if it meant getting Rose back. You straighten, and she's frowning at something over your shoulder. "Did you tell anyone about me?" she asks.

You loop her around and the Brute is watching you both, frustrated and concerned. "He asked who you were," you say. "You ain't gotta be shy around the Brute, it doesn't do any good and he ends up figuring out where you live and who you've boned and what color your underwear are anyway."

"He's _noticed_ me," she hisses. "I've gotta get out of his line of sight so he forgets me. You, too, or he'll ask questions."

"In the garden," you say. "Take the path by the ugly statue until you get to a bench by a big bush. I'll follow after a minute."

She bares her teeth in a challenging grin. "That where you take all of your conquests?" she says.

You match her right back. "Only the ones that I want to ruin good relations with."

She laughs, just as the song ends, perfect timing, and the look she gives you over her shoulder as she slips away almost puts flipping her skirts back at the top of your priority list. You are going to wreck her.

First, you're going to get some wine and hello, Brute on an interception path. You avoid him without giving the faintest hint that you actually saw him and head out into the garden. The ugly Bishop statue by the fountain has a kerchief draped over its arm, charcoal grey with pink stitching. The Brute is tailing you, so you make a show out of sniffing the material, inhaling Roxy's scent and it might be cheesy but your prick aches and you hope Rose forgives you for boning who you suspect is her sister. You decide to keep the kerchief, just to make her have to explain herself to her handmaiden.

She's down the path, far from the macabre lights of the ball, perched on the bench you told her about. You offer her the kerchief with a completely sarcastic bow. "Dropped this, ma'am, you should be careful with your effects so some creep doesn't snatch them up." She snorts and stands to take the kerchief, but you hold it up, out of her reach. "What if I wanna keep it?" you tease.

She gives you that savage grin again and hooks her fingers into your collar. "You gotta earn a prize like that, Strider," she says, tugging you into the bushes.

There's just enough room inside to stand upright. You yank her close and sink your teeth into the junction of her shoulder and neck and she gasps and digs her nails into your scalp. Somehow or other, your cape gets spread on the ground and you pin her to it, bruising the skin along her neck line, no way she can go back to the party like this (assuming you leave her able to even walk upright, and the way she's rolling against you suggests she wants you to give it your best shot)

Focus, you horny ass. You're here for a reason. You sink your hand into her hair and rock your hips into hers. "A Void Hero, huh? Wow, way rude, hiding for so long. I'm hurt. You must be a Witch, sitting in your hut in the woods and making brews and cackling and never sending a letter."

"Rogue," she gasps, clutching your shoulders. "I can hide Rose from the Horrorterrors long enough to break the link, before we bring her back into this side of the universe. I just need you to get me up there"

You push her skirts up enough to rake your nails down her thigh. "How do you know her?"

"Sisters." Ha, you were right. "Half-sisters." And Rose didn't lie about being a bastard. "Yours, too."

What.

You push yourself up on your hands and stare down at her. "Uh, I think you just misspoke, that or I'm going insane, but did you just imply that you and Rose are my sisters?"

"Oops, did I forget to mention that?" You want to kiss the smug look off her face, and your gut clenches down around 'sister!!' and doesn't let go. "Turns out, young Lord Lalonde couldn't get any from his wife after he knocked up a serving girl. And young Lady Strider was pretty lonely after she had a son and her husband decided that he'd fulfilled his duties to the Kingdom and went off 'fulfilling' the stable hands. Match made in Derse heaven, meaning you and Dirk have the same momma, but you, Rosie and I have the same dad."

Your rational brain and your still-cheerful boner are having a tough battle. "And you seriously couldn't say anything before now?"

"Nope." And she goes and makes your fight harder (ha, boner pun) and drags you down into a deep kiss. She tastes like something sharper than wine and she reaches down and grabs a nice handful of your ass. "Too bad, really. You're not as cute as your bro, but you've got a way nicer butt. And you actually like women."

"You cocktease," you groan, rolling off of her to flop onto your cape. You're half-tempted to take her anyway, and you're pretty sure she'd go for it. And then you'd have to live your entire life knowing you fucked you sister, shit.

Wait.

"You know Dirk!?"

"Oh boy, do I?" Her eyebrows waggle obscenely and you roll your eyes enough to hurt. She laughs and sits up enough to kiss your cheek. "Sunset, the night before Solstice," she says. "Clear your schedule and bring something that looks the the sun. It's gonna take all night and I can't do it alone."

"When they write the story of the overthrow of Derse," you whine, throwing your arm over your face. "Every picture of you is going to be captioned with 'worst sister ever'."

She snorts and tucks her kerchief around her neck, hiding the bite marks. "Get over it, you big baby. And don't be late."

"Please," you say, waving your hand dismissively. "I'm never late. Kind of goes with the whole Time Hero thing, you know?"

"Yeah I bet," she winks, then she ducks out of the bushes.

Shit. You let her take the kerchief.

**Author's Note:**

> I could probably do eighteen chapters of this with the Derse brats all viciously hateflirting with each other and trying to overthrow the government at the same time.


End file.
